chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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