How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
