This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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