I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
