I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
