I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
