if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
