At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
