playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
