When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
