is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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