He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
