but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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