All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
