I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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