look no pants
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she looked like the before picture.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize