Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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