and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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