What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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