I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
