just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
