it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
