You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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