put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
