I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We left an ass print on the piano.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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