My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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