Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
