I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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