READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize