So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
