ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
