Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
