Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize