Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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