the condom got lost in my hair
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize