Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I will pee on everything he values.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
