Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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