Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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