why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
