I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
