Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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