so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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