its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
