Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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