I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
