Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
