so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
