i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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