You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
