How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
