Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's blow job season.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
