we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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