he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
