bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
