I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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