i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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