It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
