i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
