I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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