Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
